Good-bye Elder Palmer

July 3, 2014

Good-bye Elder Palmer…’Till we meet again…

We lost our Elder Palmer last week. It has been an emotional time for the mission and for us personally. Many of you have seen the news release in Salt Lake City about his death and the the generosity of his parents to donate his organs so that others might live. Steve and I will forever feel a connection with this wonderfully talented young elder and we continue to pray for his family.

We, as a mission, held a memorial service for him on Tuesday. It was beautifully done and so comforting. I had the privilege of speaking at that special service. I am enclosing a copy of my talk at the end of this post.

It’s true that words simply cannot convey the depth of our feeling  and love for for this young elder. We never saw each other “eye to eye”, and yet the feelings of compassion and love will be forever remembered and cherished.

Even after we were able to get Elder Palmer safely transported to top notch medical care in South Africa, his brain continued to bleed. At one point we thought he was through the worst of it, and had an excellent prognosis, and then we developed another bleed. It was so deep in his brain that they were not able to go in surgically to stop it. We knew his life was in the hands of a loving Heavenly Father who truly knows the end from the beginning. While we grieve for the loss of such a young and talented young man, we turn our faith to the giver of life and look forward to seeing him again someday…and I know I will. I will never forget him.

                                            Elder Palmer Memorial Service
                                                         July 1, 2014

I am humbled as I stand before you today to share a bit of my experience with Elder Palmer…Particularly the last 24 hours of his mission in Madagascar. While I am deeply saddened at his loss, the word that keeps coming to my mind is Love. Love was made manifest at every junction of a very challenging situation.

When it became evident that Elder Palmer’s illness required further attention, President Adams called Elder Rossiter and I back from a trip to Tamatave. We rushed back to be in Tana when Elder Palmer arrived from Antsirabe. I was so touched by the love that was shown by the elders who accompanied him, particularly his companion, Elder Herrin, with whom I had been in contact about every two hours in the two days preceding. He fixed him food and monitored his medications; he was loving and  so concerned.

On the way down from Tamatave I had called ahead to find the best neurologist in Tana and President Adams arranged for us to take Elder Palmer to him for a CT scan. We rushed over  to the the hospital with Elder Palmer and was quickly sent in for the scan. President Adams also rushed to the hospital and was there when the scan was read. When the results indicated that Elder Palmer had had and aneurism that had burst deep within his brain,  President immediately got the ball rolling for an air evacuation to South Africa to procure the expert care that was needed. He worked tirelessly to make this happen, including contacting people in high positions at the US Embassy to assist. I knew President Adams was filled with love and concern for his missionary who was in a very critical situation.

While all of this was happening, Elder Rossiter and I stayed by Elder Palmer’s side. At first, the doctors in the emergency room were not going to let us stay, but with the help of President Adams, they finally capitulated and let us stay. I desperately did not want him to be alone.  While I have a nursing degree, my “mother heart” also emerged and I knew I could not leave him. When I mentioned that I thought he would rather have me hold his hand than the assistants, he quickly gave a thumbs up. I would have moved heaven and earth within my power to make sure he was watched over and cared for as much as possible here in Madagascar.

During those long hours, I held Elder Palmer’s hand, and tried to offer comfort as best I could. I felt a great love for him. I cannot describe how deeply I felt for him in such a short period of time. I began to understand, in some small way, the reality of God’s love for His children.  As I wiped his brow, gave him water, helped to turn and position him for comfort, and wiped his parched lips, my heart overflowed with love and compassion for him. At times, when the pain was intense, he would reach for my hand, and I was grateful to be there for him and. He was so courageous and brave.  I felt at times I was able to glimpse a bit of his soul. He was a good and stalwart young man.  He shared some of his thoughts with me during the night. He told me about his family, and the love and concern he had for all of them—(he didn’t want them to worry about him). He told me that his favorite place in the world was Lake Powell, and in the difficult hours, we went there in our minds; he seemed comforted by the memories.  He shared with me some of the previous health challenges he had experienced while in the mission. At one point he dryly said, “Sister Rossiter, I’ve had quite the mission”, and went on to tell me the details.broken nose in the MTC, seriously sprained ankle requiring getting around on crutches here in Tana…we can all imagine what a challenge that was! Receiving Rabies shots for a lemur bite and battling a bout of ringworm… We couldn’t help but chuckle at the range of health challenges he had had. He also briefly shared his testimony and faith in Heavenly Father. He talked about Elder Herrin the missionary he was “training”; so dedicated he was to his calling as a “trainer” and his desire to do a good job there. I was touched.

I witnessed the love, concern and dedication of the Assistants who also stayed with us in the hospital. They thoughtfully brought mattresses for Elder Rossiter and I and blankets that we really appreciated as the night chill came on. While I didn’t sleep that night, I appreciated their thoughtfulness and the warmth of that blanket! They brought us food and expressed concern for Elder Palmer throughout the night; as they attempted to sleep on the chair pads in the hallway; sharing one pillow. They were ministering to us, as we ministered to Elder Palmer; love made manifest!

We were all disappointed when the evacuation had to be delayed several hours due to heavy fog, making it unsafe to fly into Mada until the next morning.

Elder Palmer was aware and cognizant the entire night. He was even able to help translate for me in Malagasy to the nurses once in awhile. It was difficult to see him in pain from time to time, and if my will could have healed him, he would have lived several lifetimes. I prayed and contemplated scriptures that came to my mind; I felt that i understood in greater measure our baptismal covenants to bear one another’s burdens and to comfort those who stand in need of comfort.; To put my trust in God, who knows the end from the beginning, and who  sent His only begotten son to die for us so that we might all have eternal life.

It was an amazing site to see the sleek medical evac jet on the tarmac at the airport. President and Sister Adams were there along with top embassy and other government officials helping to assure a smooth evacuation. It was comforting because there is often a lot of bureaucratic red tape to get though in this country and we knew we needed a miracle to get him out without someone stopping the process because a paper wasn’t procured or signed just right.

Finally, when Elder Palmer was safely strapped into the medevac jet, I was able to go aboard and say my good-byes. While I did not expect them to be my last, I simply said, “I love you, Elder Palmer.” A moment later he weakly replied, “I love you, too.”  While I would have hoped the outcome to be different, I will cherish those final words. They bring me comfort.

I had the opportunity this past weekend to go to Ambositra, where Elder Palmer was serving. We met with the leadership of the Branch there. The sweet Relief Society president began to cry when she heard of Elder Palmer’s passing. She wept as she expressed her love for him. She said he was like a son to her. It was so touching to look into her beautiful face, a different color than ours, with black hair and dark eyes, and to feel of her love for Elder Palmer.  Continents and cultural differences melt away when the universal language of love is spoken. Elder Palmer made a difference here. His love for the Malagasy people, and they for him, was evident.

Yesterday, in the early morning hours as Madagascar was just waking up, I was walking the streets of Antsirabe. It was quiet as I walked. But sometimes I heard an occasional rooster crow or the sound of a bicycle bell, and I thought of Elder Palmer. I thought about what he might say to us, those who are left behind. I think he would tell us that he is at peace; that he is filled with love and joy, light and peace. I think he would tell us not to grieve, but to get to work, because it’s all true and he is anxiously carrying on the work of salvation and we must also continue to share that knowledge  that we have with those who seek the truth. I think he would echo the words of Joseph Smith in D&C 128:22; “ Shall we not go on in so great a cause? Go forward and not backward. Courage brethren; and on, on to the victory. Let your hearts rejoice and be exceedingly glad!”

This is my testimony as well…I will be forever grateful for the brief 24 hours I spent with a faithful elder so far from home, whose courage and love and a weak, “I love you, too”, has left an eternal imprint on my heart. Till we meet again, Elder Palmer….